A Credo For Meaningful Relationships
Written by self-advocates throughout North Carolina
People with disabilities are people just like YOU, but we are often disregarded in terms of our choices to live lives that are full and meaningful. Too many other people make our choices for us out of a desire to overprotect us, make their lives easier, keep us segregated, etc. Life without choices, love and friendship is not much of a life at all. We are lonely, sometimes on the outside looking in at your full lives. Treat us with dignity and respect and we will respond the same. Support us, care about us, even if on a professional level, the way you would want to be. As self-advocates who matter as people first, we want to have meaningful connections with other people with and without disabilities, who share our beliefs, genders and orientations, or even have different ones because being different is what makes us all the same. In terms of love, friendship and a full social way of life in the community:
1. We want to learn about safe and healthy relationships – including friendships and romantic relationships with people of all abilities, genders, values, preferences and orientations that we choose.
2. We want support and education about our bodies, how things work in a healthy way, how to stay healthy, how to choose intimate partners right for us, and how to protect ourselves against abuse, cancer, sexually transmitted diseases and other health risks.
3. We want to learn valuable safety tips for safer dating, connecting with new friends and maintaining contact with family – whether in person or online.
4. We want the marriage penalties that cut benefits off if we choose to get married to be adjusted.
5. We want parents and loved ones to talk openly with us when we ask about making friends, dating, sexual health and safety. If they can’t talk to us, help us find someone who can talk in terms we understand.
6. We want to be recognized as adults, regardless of the challenges we face or others presume we deal with.
7. We want privacy to be alone with our thoughts in our homes and rooms, and with friends and dates. Teach us how to ask staff and family to give us our space once we’ve learned safe and healthy habits.
8. We want to choose our own friends instead of paid staff becoming the only friends we have, and we want to choose who we don’t want to be with anymore, too.
9. We want to become “regulars” at community spots such as the local coffee shop, church, the laundromat, school, the library and other places in the community, so that we can learn how to meet people. Maybe, people will begin miss us and ask about our well-being if we don’t show up on our regular day or time.
10. We want the community to notice us by who we are first. We aren’t solely defined by our disability labels and the staff supporting us doesn’t define us either.
11. We want you to befriend us and be sensitive to us, so we have more people to share our likes and dislikes with. That way, we’ll have more people to tell if something is wrong or we need help.
12. We want better, accessible transportation to get to our friends and out in the community.
13. We want to go to funerals, weddings, family and community functions that are important to us, regardless of inconvenience to staff that seem to have time to take us to the doctor, the store and other service provider appointments. We are part of important family and social circles, too.
14. We want to be able to make our own choices, as well as mistakes, and learn from them without being judged or having our mistakes thrown back at us every time we try to move forward.
15. We want to be heard and know our feelings and opinions matter.
16. We want you to share your good or bad news with us. Don’t assume we won’t understand or it will be too upsetting. We are allowed to have our feelings and express them the best we know how. We can handle it!
17. We want safe, affordable, accessible places to live where both we and our friends can have fun without worries of danger.
We are people first, adults, with wants and needs just like you. Remember that as you care for, support, advocate with, live among and work with us. We have feelings, desires, dreams and wishes for a life with love, friendship and respect. Put yourself in our place before you make decisions about our social and emotional experiences. Think about how you would feel if opportunities to connect with others on a deeper level were taken from you, or your need for companionship denied. That wouldn’t be all right with you, would it? It’s not all right with us. We know what we are missing. We know we deserve these experiences in our lives like others do. Support us, teach us, guide us and help us to be a bigger part of yours and other people’s lives and encourage others to be part of our lives. We have more to offer than you assume.
The NCRI project is funded by the North Carolina Council on Developmental Disabilities. Learn more about NCRI at www.hsri.org/project/north-carolina-relationships-initiative.
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October Is National Disability Employment Awareness Month
In an effort to promote National Disability Employment Awareness Month, the NC Employment First Steering Committee collected employment success stories from consumers, family members, friends, and providers.
As part of the Employment First Initiative in North Carolina, this campaign seeks to promote the idea that people with disabilities can and do work and employment is possible! This is also an effort to offer hope, promote mentorship, self-advocacy and empowerment to people with disabilities considering employment as an avenue for personal growth. – North Carolina Employment Success Stories
Following are two Success Stories in the document directly connected to RHA Howell.
Ryan, Raleigh
Ryan was devastated when he learned that he could no longer pursue his passion for cooking because of a serious back injury that required multiple surgeries. For 18 years he’d used cooking “to make people happy,” he writes in his “Success Story.” Then, while he was working with his Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) counselor, he heard that RHA Howell needed to hire an employment specialist.
“The position at RHA seemed like a golden opportunity for me to turn my talents in a different direction while still making people happy,” Ryan writes. “I love the job I am doing now. It allows me to work with people and to make a difference in their lives. Being a VR consumer myself, I have a great passion for working with individuals with disabilities.”
Ryan has helped seven people find competitive employment in just four months, and he has developed relationships with area businesses in Wayne, Lenoir, and Wilson counties.
“Thank you, RHA Howell,” he concludes, ”for giving me the opportunity to sow into the lives of so many.”
Rosalind, Charlotte
Secured Employment Network (SENET) client Rosalind needed a job. Donna Fitzgerald, a SENET employment specialist, found the perfect place for her in the organization’s supported employment network: the Dollar Tree.
Since Rosalind started her job as a stocker at the Dollar Tree, she has taken on more tasks, such as maintaining the restrooms, arranging flower and kitchenware displays, and even helping customers find items they’re looking for in the store.
“She is also making new friends and forming strong relationships with her co-workers,” according to the report, especially co-assistant manager Kelly Sherril.
Rosalind also shares her drawings of flowers and birds with the Dollar Tree team. “They are such a valued prize with the managers that they are being framed and displayed.”
RHA Howell and SENET thank store manager Damion Denney and the entire Dollar Tree team for embracing Rosalind and selecting SENET as a source for qualified employees.
To read or download all of the North Carolina Employment First Success Stories, click here.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )DHHS Releases Guide To Accessible N.C. Travel Destinations for People with Disabilities
RALEIGH – N.C. Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) Secretary Al Delia announced today the release of the sixth edition of “ACCESS North Carolina,” a publication that provides details on the accessibility of tourist sites across North Carolina. The latest edition, available in time for summer travelers, provides accessibility notes for hundreds of sites.
RHA: News & Events 